Discover more from Will Hathaway: Genuine ecstasy
500 sleepless hours
It is currently 4:02 AM, and I have three problems sets to finish between now and 5pm.
Due to this inherent constraint, this post will have to be brief. I am slightly overloaded. But I'm nowhere near the breaking point. And thats's what this is about. Fuck being cool. The modus operandi for the next three weeks is to drive myself to a nervous breakdown. I will drop no classes; I will start clubs; I will pack my weekends; I will pick up jobs. If I average over 5 hours of sleep per night, I am doing it wrong.
I'm stress-testing myself. I didn't come to MIT to be "pushed to the limit." — I came here to be pushed past my limit. When spring break finally arrives 3 weeks from now, I want to collapse over the finish line, a broken man with a broken psyche.
Over the next three weeks, I will say yes to everything. If two friends ask me to dinner on the same day, I won't worry about rescheduling. I'll just eat dinner twice. No shortcuts. No corners cut. I want to see the worst that this place can bring me.
I'm sure that 10am me will find me rather melodramatic. I can hardly stomach myself right now, coked up on 4 hours of physics homework as I am. I'm sure I'll find all sorts of ways to try and brush this off over the next several weeks. But hold me to this. I want to fucking die. Not because I hate life. Because I love it.